As the process continues, OWN’s ATF adds another element into the recovery – family. Day 29 into the 42 day process brings us to family week and this looks like it will bring with it an entirely different ‘shade’ of drama to the process.
As Tennie reads the list of family member’s coming and not coming, we learn that Elizabeth’s mother is not coming to family week and no on is showing up for Layne. “When family members are invited and don’t come to family week, that’s a huge statement and the client needs to look at that,” Tennie says. “It really shows lack of support for the client.”
On a personal call to Layne’s husband, her husband was anything but supportive. His lack of compassion and empathy to seeing things through any other perspective other than his own is clear within seconds on the phone. However, to be fair, Layne is unable to find her voice in the relationship as well. Women, when you lose your voice in a relationship, you lose yourself…and it is my experience that those are the relationships that leave you crawling and fighting to get out of.
During group, they are moving into the “life map” process. The purpose is to see how their life has formed patterns and how this impacts them today. During the process, clients draw a self pattern of their body image. Then, a partner actually traces their actual body image onto of the same pattern. From there, they begin to write down their life history…what was happening, how they were feeling, how were they abusing their bodies, etc… After a while, they are asked to step back and take a look for any patterns. Seeing these patterns empowers them to be aware and break this cycle. With these identified, the clients can work through their anger and pain and let it go. “I believe in honoring that pain and getting that pain out,” Tennie tells us. “Sometimes underneath the pain there may be anger…that’s how I know we may be hitting on something that goes into the one big part of it.”
As the clients prepare to talk with their families about different issues such being a lesbian, not being a good mother and not having support that they need, clients role play with each other to prepare for family week. This helps them to understand their fear and anxiety around communicating to their loved ones what they need. For some it’s acceptance, for others it’s more. “What do you hope to accomplish for family week?” Tennie asks the clients and then tells us, “We believe in multi-family therapy and…they realize that they are not the only family dealing with an eating disorder. What I really hope is that family membesr and clients can start speaking the truth to each other…the truth sets everyone free.”