OWN took a closer look into the softer side of Amanda this week’s episode. She focused once again on the fact that she hadn’t gotten any mail from her mother…which is beginning to get a bit annoying. To her, mail was the lifeline to her mother’s support which she feels she needs for recovery. Dr. Covington had her first one-on-one with her and she shared that she had been sexually abused from ages 5 to 10 years old by her mother’s best friend. As both her mother and her best friend used crank, it was easy to understand how Amanda became a user by age 5. Suddenly the mother issues made TOTAL sense. Amanda decided it was time to write her mother and share how she felt. The show headed to Tracy’s home, Amanda’s mother. She read the letter and informed us that Amanda grew up with her being bipolar. She spoke of how Amanda didn’t start getting in trouble until she was around 7 or 8. I can’t help but think that is 2 years after the molestation began. Her mom felt a lot of guilt and responsibility for how her daughter’s life has unraveled. Next mail-call that we see…Amanda gets her letter and it was a beautiful one. Just what Amanda needed. You could tell she felt loved and hopeful. Maybe now she can start to heal.
An insightful Nicole emerged this episode. A young girl who got hooked on drugs, had children with multiple men, always made sure her children where clean and fed… and neglectful emotionally and actively as a mother. Her story is not all that uncommon, so it was a great addition to the series. Sentenced for reckless homicide, Nicole had left her 2 sons in the bathtub as she went to the front door to get her daughter off the bus. Her 11 month old son drown. Clean since his death, Nicole still struggles with feeling guilty for not being a better mother or showing her children more love. When asked how she was dealing with the death of her son…it is clear that she really isn’t. She needs to work through the guilt and find a place to heal. Nicole, part of the offender council, now fields grievances of the other prisoners. A great way for Nicole to start to handle some responsibility…which she tended to avoid in the past. As Nicole got ready to be released to county jail, Dr. Covington shared with her thoughts on being responsible… “responsibility first meant having the ability to respond”. When using drugs, you can’t respond. Nicole shared her mother wasn’t really there for her and she seemed to have a new understanding of what it takes to be a mom. THEN, Nicole shared she had been sexually molested when she around 9 years old which led her to become a cutter. Another girl…this is so sad. I have to wonder how many of our female prisoners are actually victims of sexual abuse? After failing for so long, Nicole still struggled with the fear of succeeding.
Oh, Tiffany! Her penalty for her violation on last week’s episode…was knocked down a notch. So…not more time, just more restrictions. She realized she needed to walk a fine line, but I don’t think she gets what really got her in trouble. It wasn’t the situation…it was her berating the officer, an authority figure. Tiffany knows her mother is very sick and is concerned about starting over with nothing. The show traveled to Tiffany’s mother, Penny, and shared a bit of their lives with us. The camera pans to Tiffany’s daughter as the family talked about how she is saving her money to buy her mom some new clothes. How sad. No child should have to worry about taking care of their mother. Tiffany did her best as she focused on the G.E.D. which was her 6 month early release miracle. She got her miracle and even spoke of starting college next year. Good for her!