Oprah Winfrey continues to bring high-level programs to the OWN Network. This week’s “I Am Jazz: A Family in Transition” was no exception. As the story weaved through the tell-tale signs, discrimination, and acceptance of being a transgender child, the viewers were left with so much more. Although the base topic was gender identity issues, the core was about having the courage to be who you are.

The story began with Jazz who was born a boy but was every bit the girlie girl she dreamed of being. From the beginning her parents, Greg and Jeanette, her brothers, Griffen and Sander, and sister Ari all recognized that Jazz identified as a female. There really was never a question. “I have a girl brain and a boy body and I’m just like you.” At first it was all about playing with feminine toys, then clothes, then well…everything. As a young child she even dreamed of a fairy coming and giving her a vagina and taking her penis away forever. The beauty is that her family always allowed Jazz to be whoever she wanted to be. Of course there were concerns. Her mother shared how some people believed they pushed their child into this behavior. “Who would want their child to be transgender?” Not that there is anything wrong with it but no parent wants their child to be discriminated against or have to struggle to be treated equally. “We’re not trying to be controversial; we’re just trying to do what is best for Jazz,” Her father admitted.

They made their first big decision when they allowed Jazz to wear her one-piece swimsuit to her 5th birthday. It was time to allow her to be whoever she wanted to be…in public. The example her parents set for other adults, other children and their own children was about true acceptance and unconditional love. For Jazz, she was able to be who she was, mermaid tails and all. Nothing else really mattered. Despite the constant acceptance within her home, she was finally free to be who she was beyond her front door….living her truth. Although there were those who cast judgment and rolled their eyes, Jazz’s family focused on doing right by their daughter.

Jazz was totally fascinated with mermaids which later her mom found to be shockingly common. Because there isn’t anything below the waist, many transgender children are drawn to the mythical creatures. In fact, Jazz has even sewn her own line of tails. Not all transgender children are so easy to identify as early on as Jazz. Unless parents come across the right medical professional that informs them of the disorder, they may never recognize the signs of their child’s struggle.

Sadly the transgender community has the highest rate of suicide sitting at 31%. By the age of 20, 50% have attempted suicide at least once and some as early as the age of 7. Puberty is often the catalyst for many of these emotions. Whether they have ignorant parents, are believed to be in a phase or simply too fearful to speak, many of these children grow up feeling trapped inside the wrong body. So as Jazz’s 11th birthday came, her parents needed to make some decisions. Before she progressed too far into puberty and began to have a change in her voice, facial features and other masculine developmental stages, they had a choice. They could begin taking medication that would block the male hormones from progressing. The fantastic thing about these meds is that if she decided to go off them, she would develop as a normal male despite waiting. So really…. It simply prolongs the process if she ever chooses to go there. The only thing they wouldn’t be able to change would be gender reassignment surgery…which wasn’t on the table at this time. For a moment her mother grieved for her daughter…never being able to be “the mommy she wants to be”. However, being a mother isn’t about giving birth. It’s about all the wonderful things that occur after a child enters your life.

The film focused primarily on the positive support Jazz received from her parents and close friends. However life isn’t perfect. I began to wonder how much pain lied behind her amazing smile. She mentioned she had no real friends at school…that they didn’t understand her life and her parents’ decisions. “They think what I’m doing and what my parents are doing is wrong and they think me as a person, I’m wrong and that’s just not right.” Jazz is so right! This isn’t a choice, this is who she is. A soccer jock, Jazz practices alongside a supportive team. But due to the United States Youth Soccer Association guidelines, she is unable to play on the team for games. Instead, she sits on the bench and watches. Her father cried as he read a letter to the soccer board asking them to reconsider their decision. It has to be hard to be constantly pushing uphill for their child – trying to educate a society on a topic that many doctors still don’t have a good base knowledge about.

In fact, Jazz and her mom often sit on panels trying to educate graduate students and future doctors about the transgender community. Jazz lit up as she spoke to the crowd, but as others told their stories of their hardships they endured over their lifetimes of being closeted and the difficulties they struggled with you can see the look on Jazz’s face. It is as if she is pondering what struggles she may be up against in her own life. With such a solid core group of loved ones and supporters, will all the prejudices and hurdles impact her in the same way? However, no matter what happens, she has a great family team. “I’ve been blessed” Jazz’s mom told us and she is right. She has an incredible family who are both close and supportive and there is nothing more important than family…and being your true authentic self.

Growing up in the south I had a true rarity for a parent. My mom didn’t see color. I was taught that every person’s soul was colorless and our bodies were merely houses for the soul. So to me, bodies are like snail shells. That is the way I envisioned it as a child – hence my issue with smashing snails in my garden. The color has nothing to do with the soul that resides within it. It isn’t capable of any less or more. Unfortunately Jazz got the wrong shell. Despite this set back, she has soared as her true self and that is to be admired. Many people struggle our whole life trying living outside of their authentic self. Let Jazz be a lesson to us all. Everyone should have the same courage to live their true, authentic lives. Thank you for the reminder Jazz and OWN!

For resources on this issue, check out our “Be Empowered” page here.