Feelings of judgment and disapproval are common in most parent child relationships, but mother-daughter relationships can be especially delicate and difficult for even the healthiest of families to understand. Each week, The Judds have shared their dysfunction, pain and frustration while silence has robbed them from truly understanding their OWN truth. Many of us can identify with bits and pieces of their story, but have no real clue of the pain they are in. This week Naomi took a sledgehammer to her wall of secrets and found that her daughter was there by her side.

This episode was SPA DAY! After 4 shows in a row, Wynonna and Naomi could use a day of pampering. As they joked about keeping their shavings to sell on eBay or offer as a fan giveaway…you couldn’t help but laugh and be a little grossed out! Then a mother-daughter moment…while Wynonna signed posters and tossed them onto the ground, her mother asked who was going to pick the posters up. Wynonna’s assistant jumped in immediately to claim the task but Wy got the “mom” look for Naomi. Irritated by her mother making a comment in front of her “employee”, Wynonna continued to feel hyper-sensitive with her mom. Now, I must say….I am a grown woman, but if my mom saw me tossing stuff onto the ground, she’d be irritated if I wasn’t the one picking it up. It is a mom thing…I get your point, but relax Wy!

Now the thing that would have sent me over the edge…Mr. Boo Boo. We hadn’t seen him since Naomi got her shot, and he wasn’t really missed. No offense, Mr. Boo Boo. As Naomi placed him on Wynonna’s shoulder and spoke in her “Mr. Boo Boo” voice, I couldn’t believe that didn’t set Wynonna off. I mean…that is the stuff that would drive me crazy! As they arrived at The Broadmoor in Colorado Springs, it seemed Wynonna and Naomi would finally have a chance to breathe in the positive atmosphere and allow the good energy to settle in.

A place of such cleansing makes you think and can allow you to feel more open and vulnerable. For Naomi, she was finally in a good place to discuss her childhood secrets with her daughter. Trying to protect Wynonna, Naomi at first found it difficult to open up and share her pain. Wynonna shared how she had been hearing from those around them that her mother was going through a lot. Feeling isolated and left out, Wynonna wanted to be there to support her mother and asked her to share. Knowing where you come from was important to Naomi and she knew she couldn’t lie to her children any longer. So, she opened with telling Wynonna that she believed they have a generational curse in their family.

She then shared a 20 year old family secret that she had carried. The story was so sad…her great-grandfather had taken his two boys, ages 5 & 7 and tried to kill them. He locked all the doors and windows, turned on the gas heater and hung himself in front of his kids. The older boy, Howard, was able to pop out a window to save him and his brother, Norman. Howard was Naomi’s grandfather. Damaged, he ended up marrying a woman who only cared about herself. The children they had took care of themselves- all on their own. When Naomi’s mother was 11 years old, her father, Howard, was found dead in the bathroom from a gunshot wound to the head. Rumors swirled throughout the family. They believed his wife had burned the family business down (to get the insurance money) and then killed Naomi’s grandfather. Soon after, her grandmother skipped town with her boyfriend. “This is your family” Naomi shared knowing so much more was still coming.

By knowing all of this, Naomi was finally able to understand why her mother treated her the way she did. She didn’t care, didn’t love…it wasn’t about Naomi, it was just that her mother ”…can’t. She doesn’t have the emotional capacity”. “So I’m trying to reverse the curse” Naomi continued as Wynonna tried to take it all in under a waterfall of tears. As Naomi apologized to Wynonna for having no stability as she grew up, Wy simply stated “but we got out.” You could tell this sadness was filling her up.

Naomi braced herself as she began “her” story for Wynonna. She shared how one day Dr. Ted asked her “what is your earliest memory?”. While Wynonna’s eyes were fixed on her mother, Naomi shared it…a memory of being sexually molested at the age of 3. Knowing that I was witnessing a HUGE moment of understanding and pain for Wynonna, I was so proud of Naomi for FINALLY speaking her truth. Telling her story took courage, and I applaud her for that. Hopefully by opening up, she will encourage others to break their cycle of silence. However, it was clear there was still a lot to be fixed for Naomi and Wynonna. After Naomi shared her truth, not a lot was said. I guess Wynonna needed time to process. Naomi came over to comfort her. Shortly after, the crew joined them in the room and Naomi and Wynonna put their faces of normal back on…this wasn’t something they were ready to open up about yet.

The women headed to the spa for their treatments, but I can’t imagine any of them were able to relax. Following her spa treatment, Wynonna shared “it’s so deep and so wide, I’m afraid it’s going to kill me…It’s like finding out your parent isn’t your parent. Where do you go from here? I don’t think you can die from crying, but I can probably come close right now”. This was all so much, so fast and in front on a crew filming you. Her life was just turned upside down and there was no place to try to process it. For Wynonna it was devastating to see the shame and the guilt her mother was feeling about how she had parented her and Ashley. As Naomi commented “I’d been broken open”, I couldn’t help but think….where is DR. TED?

Wynonna opened the 17th day of the tour by telling the crowd “This has been quite a journey. So, we’re really feeling very sentimental tonight….It’s every child’s fantasy to watch her mother have a second childhood”. Watching them on stage was magical. Their eyes seemed to hold the pain and love for everyone to see. They were so vulnerable. “Mom and I now respect each other in a totally different way” Wynonna shared after she left the stage. She was drained and barely able to process. It was all so overwhelming. She told her mom that at times it was too hard to look at her. Naomi looked at her and said “When I sing with you is when I feel whole”. This emotional journey was clearly just beginning for them both.

BUT can it get any more stressful? YES! Naomi got news that Ashley was sending her a copy of her unedited autobiography. This was the first Naomi had heard of it. As if things weren’t stressful enough, it seemed the seam was opened and everything was pouring out. “Just give me a passport” Naomi says as she laid sprawled out on the floor of her bus. Feeling like it was a courtesy of Ashley before the world sees it, she joked about Ashley’s book being turned into a Hollywood movie where Betty White plays her.

After sharing her secret, Ted reminded Wynonna that there isn’t anything she can do…it isn’t her’s to fix. By understanding her family’s past, Wynonna had a better understanding of why she was treated the way she was. It wasn’t her fault…she wasn’t crazy! As for Naomi, she has never felt close to her daughter, but realized she’d may never be close with her own mother. Dr. Ted reminded us that they both have an incredible ability to love and are in search of a connection with one another, although their history has been to hurt each other. It is like watching two different people….these are not my Judds. They are better…or at least working on it! Wynonna told her mom she felt heard now and Naomi felt her daughter was truly present with her. Worried about how her mother and siblings will react, Naomi knew the path to healing was just beginning. But now, Wynonna was by her side.

On the 18th day of the tour…Ashley’s unedited autobiography arrived and Naomi couldn’t put it down. It was a peek into her daughter’s thoughts and emotions. Knowing she could have been a better mother, she hung on every word. As the crowd cheered Wynonna while she sang “Is It Over Yet” in the background, Naomi was brought to tears by the truthful words of her other daughter. A roller-coaster of emotion this week and feeling “demolished”, Naomi once again hid her secrets behind a smile and joined Wynonna on stage.

As I watched this fragile relationship ebb and flow this week, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a quote from Maya Angelou….“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Both Naomi and Wynonna took huge steps to having a healthier relationship. I just hope Naomi can stay focused on healing and not get side tracked by the shame she feels regarding Ashley’s OWN journey.

While we wait for the next episode…ask yourself if you carry any secrets that hold you back from being the “true” you. Secrets are only powerful if you tell no one. Take your power back and live your OWN truth!