I struggle as I watched Searching For, the episode from February 21st, with Efrem Graham.  This insightful man fought to find a way to have a relationship with his absent father.   He hadn’t been given up for adoption, he had just been abandoned by his father like so many young children. 

He became a son that any one would feel proud to call their OWN.   He located his father only to be ask him to meet him at the corner.  His father’s wife would have been too upset if they met in front of the house.  He NEVER showed. 

I was so sad for Efrem.  I felt his pain and knew this was something that would haunt him for the rest of his life.  I wanted him to get out of there.  To avoid the uncomfortable pain.  But he surprised me.  He went up to his door and knocked.  His father opened the door.  With an injection by Efrem of  a basic – You are my father and  I love you.  I forgive you.  Do you forgive yourself? – They began again.  No blame or shame, just starting over. 

Efrem then made the comment about why he went up to the door – “I deserve it and I deserve my father and I am willing to accept him in whatever state he is in because he is my father”.    So quiet; not in a roar.  Just simply put.  

Although my father wasn’t absent in my life, he wasn’t really present either.  I have the same attitude as Efrem does.  I was able to find that strength to have that conversation several years ago and it was freeing.  The “O Moment” was more about not letting yourself down.  If Efrem would have walked away, even if simply to protect himself, he would have let himself down.  He DID deserve it and I am glad I got to see a portion of his courage and strength.