OWN’s Pam Slaton lends her expertise to a brother and sister team this week on Searching For. Cindy Sullivan and Ken Hyman were both adopted out together and are hoping to find their biological parents. Cindy shared that her son, Brendan, has Cystic Fibrosis. With this…both of them hope their biological mother will be able to provide medical information about their family. Feeling lucky to have been both adopted together, they hoped to share that sentiment with her. After their mom died, they found their adoption papers in her safety deposit box. The papers told them their real names….Susan and John Beecher (not sure on the spelling). In hopes of finding out more, the siblings set out to meet with Pam in her hometown of Lumberton, New Jersey.

What a treat…the siblings were met by Pam’s mom, Ann. We haven’t met her before and we really didn’t this time either.. Whether meeting their mom or even learning her name, Ken and Cindy were hopeful. Pam pointed them both to get their hands on their original birth certificates…as the state of Maine had just opened up adoption records. The documents should show her full name, the state she was born in and her age. This information would make Pam’s job a lot easier. 

With the documents in their hands, they find out their mom was only 21 years old when they were born. About 5 hours later, Pam was able to find their mother. Pam asked them to write a letter to her…since Pam had already tried to get a hold of her and was unable to. The letter was seemed a bit formal…asking about medical history. Maybe it was just the way it was edited. After waiting a long time, Pam finally suggested they make a call. 

Ken did and the woman denied being their mother and offered them no information to help them. Ken was saddened that his mother wouldn’t be receptive…they weren’t asking for anything other than basic medical information. Then, they wondered if maybe there was a mistake. 

Pam decided to check into it again and within 2 weeks Pam delivered fresh news. Although the search showed this WAS their biological mother, Pam was able to contact a former husband who was open to talking. He knew about them and also shared that their mother was adopted. Pam relayed that is wasn’t uncommon for parents to close themselves off if they too had been adopted.  

Ken and Cindy wrote one last letter to their mom thanking her for placing them up for adoption…and still no reply. At least they know she heard them. And more importantly….they still have each other.  

At the close, Pam commented on how each person searching needs to have a good handle on their expectations. At a minimum the search will bring closure and anything more is a gift. I understand though…it is hard not to get your hopes up.