As sad as it is that my family may never get to see Rosie live, I have to admit….these one-on-ones are a positive move for the show. At first I thought they may be sprinkled throughout the shows allowing her extended weekends, but with the positive responses, the show is now all one-on-one. Luckily I don’t mind.
Split over two weeks, Rosie brought on everyone’s favorite doctor, Dr. Mehmet Oz allowing us a glance at more than just the medical facts. Dr. Oz’s story was not anything incredible with dramatic twists or turns, but it did serve as a reminder that with hard work you can be exceptional. The son of a thoracic surgeon, he was often found observing his father. In fact, he saw his first dead body around the age of 6 or 7. Unlike most kids, he wasn’t scared or disgusted. Instead he was fascinated!
Is family originated from Turkey and actually that is where his parents now live. His mom was from a well-off family unlike his father. His father’s sister was his mother’s dress maker. Although her family didn’t really approve of the relationship, they fell in love. With a grandmother that equated education to freedom, his father went on to become a doctor. Maybe this is where Dr. Oz got his strong sense of educating his patients…believing his job is to teach. He actually believes that free clinics are true service for “We’re not judged by how we take care of the people who are doing great. We’re judged by how we take care of the weakest among us.”
When asked how he can communicate so well with women, he showed appreciation for the women who surrounded him his whole life. Outnumbered by the women in his family, he shared that most men are lost about women because of what he calls a “testosterone poisoning problem”. However, he does suggest that women don’t have enough testosterone which leads to lower self-esteem and the lack of realizing how truly important they are.
Calling out his charisma, compassion and intellect, Rosie pointed out the obvious reason he resonates so well with us all. He has the ability to make us all feel like the only person in the room. After politely thanking Rosie, he stated the one problem with the world is “intimacy” and the lack of connection….leading to inability to trust causing economic crisis, marriage problems and failures in business. So often people forget that connections are what have kept our species alive.
After giving advice on how to be a better patient and advocate for yourself, the lesson of expecting more from your relationship with you doctor was passed on. If your doctor isn’t open to it, then find a new one. For Dr. Oz feels that it won’t be doctors or companies that change medicine…patients will create the change.
This episode seemed to be extra personal for Rosie. Talking to Dr. Oz as if no one was there….sharing details about her childhood, personal life and her future. One thing that was confirmed was that Michelle is still trying to get pregnant. She shared a story that we all could relate to. Sitting in a tech lab as women waiting for mammograms, she felt uncomfortable in the energy of the space. The room was filled with stress. Any woman that has been there understands. That is why years ago, my family and I made the change. You see it isn’t an option to miss this yearly appointment. Instead we turned it into a day to look forward to.
Each year we spend the “ day out” together. We schedule our appointments back to back and head out together…always in October. First the girls get checked and then we head out to lunch. But as soon as we walk into the room, the technicians light up and we work the room. Within moments we are in deep conversation with all the women the tiny room can hold. There isn’t a tense face in the bunch. Most of the time we are laughing about movies, family stories and jokes….but occasionally we are reassuring those who are frightened. In truth, whatever is happening to your body is happening. It is just better to know! So the next time you go to schedule your appointments call your mom, sister or friend and make it a “girls’ day out.”
As Rosie talked about doctor’s fears of malpractice leading them to not simply reassuring patients when the risk is minimal, Dr. Oz speaks from the heart. “You need us for judgment not numbers.”
I recently asked my mom, “If you died tonight, what would you regret?” Her response was quick and to the point, “I’d regret I died.” No one wants to die. The one thing that keeps people alive the longest is having a reason to live. By surrounding yourself with loved ones, you are on the right track. When discussing this, Dr. Oz mentioned that doctors are just beginning to understand the power of the mind.
“Overworking is never a good thing” Rosie tells us. Yet somehow the world is filled with over-worked people. Doctors and nurses definitely fall into that category. “Nurses are the real healers of our hospitals. They train us,” Dr. Oz admitted. When it comes to healthcare, Dr. Oz makes it clear that we aren’t going to win the healthcare battles in our hospitals….we are going to win them in our kitchens with the food we eat, in our bedrooms and in our homes. We will begin to be the best doctor we ever had….we all know what to do. We just need to do it.
As someone who can’t recall the last time I got a full night’s sleep, the next segment really spoke to me. Having sleep issues of her own, Rosie dove deeper into the sleep issue. Surprisingly the doctor informed us, “Our basic status in life is supposed to be sleep” and that sleep is our official ON switch. Suddenly I felt like a malfunctioning electrical unit. He reminded us to treasure the process.
Then the heavy topic broke ground….depression. Equating having depression to a broken leg, Dr. Oz pointed out it makes it difficult to run as fast. I think many people have moments of depression, but not everyone goes to that dark place for long periods of time. Dr. Oz pointed out that it was important to not numb your feelings. If you are depressed because you are in a bad marriage, then you need to deal with it, not stuff it deeper. Because in truth, depression calls for an action to change.
As Rosie exposed her deepest issues, I understood her a little better. She shared her feelings of shame for needing the medications and her sadness of always needing to. My thoughts roamed to my uncle. A gentle man who has suffered most of his life with PTSD from the Vietnam War. Taking medication to cope with the atrocities and haunting reminders, he occasionally attempted to come off the meds…only to slip deeper into fear. There is no shame in taking care of yourself.
Shortly after, she said something that bothered me. I had already been tethering on the Rosie boat because of her self-loathing. She made the comment that instead of being upset that something was wrong with her body, she would think….”You’re not worth it. You’re an idiot.” My concerns at first were centered on her and feeling badly that she saw her that way. Then I realized she was sending a negative message to women just like her. During the live tweet it was all about her having a hard time seeing herself. BUT those of us who see her, don’t see that. No she doesn’t have to funny all the time. She is allowed to be herself in every way. But by tearing herself down, others begin to turn it inwards on themselves. Something I am certain she wouldn’t wish on anyone. It is hard. I can’t imagine what is like to live a life under a microscope. I can barely handle my own mother’s judgment let alone the nations’. One thing that is clear is that Michelle is good for her.
Discussing her insecurities over her weight, Dr. Oz made one thing very clear. People without weight issues need to “make sure they know you love them just the way they are.” Ro then shared a very personal story. Like many heavy people, it is hard to let anyone touch the plumper sections…especially the tummy. Rosie admitted to hating those parts of her. However, Michelle reaches out. She touches the uncomfortable places. When she asked her why, Michelle told her, “Because I feel sorry for the parts of you that you hate and I want to teach you that there are no parts of you that I hate.” I was in tears. If only every person got it like Michelle, the world would change. I learned so much in this episode….including that Michelle is so much cooler than I thought.
Of course the show couldn’t conclude without Dr. Oz bringing out the purple gloves. The special treat…the human brain.