As Oprah walked down a path that no one would ever suspect as a driveway to a rock legend’s home, her arms were filled with buckets of fresh cut flowers. They were beautiful and so heavy they almost knocked her over. Meeting her along the path, Steven Tyler took her hand and led her into his sanctuary – not at all what I would have expected from Aerosmith’s frontman. Surrounded by tall pines nestled in a tiny lake front community, we discovered a new face to the “American Idol” judge. There in Sunapee, New Hampshire, the “Demon of Screamin” found peace and spirituality.

After witnessing countless interviews of superstars in their homes that far reach beyond their needs, it was refreshing to see Steven in such a primal place. Although I am certain it was just as expensive, it was obvious that this home was special. No high gates, majestic statues or excessive displays of grandeur. As the camera panned the lake and home, I imagined it as one of Oprah.com’s Breathing Spaces. It was both beautiful and tranquil…a perfect place to meditate.

Growing up, one of the biggest rock stars spent his summers as Steven Victor Tallarico helping his parents rent out cottages along the water. It was in that setting that he began looking at life as a man. He grew up inspired by his father Victor, a musician and pianist. He couldn’t complain; he had a great childhood. A few days before Oprah arrived, Steven lost his 95 year-old father. Sharing how he tried to be “that spiritual guy” when his “daddy” passed, I began to open up more to seeing the true Steven Tyler. He was just a man like any other that loved and lost, made mistakes and was doing his best to “live his best life”. In moments like that, it is easy to recall how alike we all truly are.

Living on the tail of a comet, rock stars rarely get the opportunity to slow down and take part in the life around them. It actually must be a very lonely life in a sense. Always on the road surrounded by strangers. As Steven shared stories of his father, regrets of missed family moments and the loss of his parents, he couldn’t help but wonder why he ever left. The pain was palpable. All the years he had spent on the road and doing drugs, were years he lost the opportunity to be present. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Growing up in a home where family was the foundation for life, I understood what he had lost. However, watching him now at the age of 63…it was clear that he was finally home and attempting to be truly present in his own life.

I loved what OWN did with the show. There camera stood steady for in-depth conversations and caught glimpses of the O Team in the behind-the-scenes moments. Not too stuffy and not too crazy. It was perfect. Don’t change a thing OWN! The interview was candid, raw and brilliant. From highs to reliving how “Dream On” was conceived to the lows of his drug addiction. Comparing his drug addiction to falling down the rabbit hole, Steven simply stated, “I know Alice. Oh yeah, we had an affair for a long time”. Admitting to having spent $20 million on drugs in his lifetime, I have to wonder – how many of the world’s problems could be solved if drug money went to places that matter. Imagine…no hunger, no thirst, and cures for diseases, stopping slavery or trafficking. $20 million from one man alone. Just imagine.

As an alcoholic, drug addict he knew that another high was possible, but hoped to remain clean. Addiction can destroy the greatest of all things. I hope for his sake the demon stays away. As he tried to describe the feelings he had on LSD, like Oprah I sat a bit lost. It always amazes me when addicts talk about how great it was when those around they loved, I am certain, will tell another story. Addicts only look cool to addicts. To others, they look dangerously broken. Fortunately his highs are now found within his music.

As the interview continued, his honesty came through in a story about a different LSD – Lead Singer Disorder. Being the lead singer of Aerosmith isn’t easy. The jealousy of the band can create issues. The tension had become so bad that when he was in the hospital not one member came to visit. As an outsider it seemed crazy to me. They are all making serious money, and although Steven may be more recognizable that is actually a good thing for them. Steven can’t walk down the street without someone seeing him. With more anonymity, I am certain the others have some moments of normalcy. Something I am certain all lead singers would love a piece of. It’s all about cooperation. It’s a group…not a one man show. In fairness, when one man melts down with drugs he can take out the whole team. Luckily Steven realizes that “forgiveness is the answer to anything”. That is the most important step in moving forward. No one can fix anything in the past. You must move into the present to truly heal.

One area he seemed to still be struggling with was forgiveness for himself within his family. Poetic even in love, Steven admitted that the mothers of his children were all loved dearly – “When we made love we cried”. Soon I found I was shouting “too much info” at the TV as he shared how they cried as they climaxed during sex. He did distinguish…they don’t always cry – only when a child was conceived. Seriously though, he seemed to be working hard on healing the wounds of his past with his family. It has to be hard. Shame can block the path of healing…especially with family.

Coming out of the Betty Ford Center he found himself landing in the judge’s chair at “American Idol”. Loving the chance to encourage music in the lives of others, he was clear that he is no Simon Cowell. He was all about nurturing music and having fun. Finally he felt he found an outlet for something more than the darkness of rock and roll. I posted the clip a little earlier, be sure to check it out. As Oprah held his injured foot in her hands, we all saw the evidence of the pain that puts him at risk for using. Staring at his crumpled toes, I wondered how often he drugged himself to avoid feeling…anything.

Soon the interview was opened up to two important women in his life. His daughter, Mia, was first. She shared intimate details about their relationship and the less glamorous aspects of living a Rock n’ Roll lifestyle. Always in the shadow, she struggled to find a place in her father’s life as well as her own. Their honesty about abandonment issues was raw and authentic. It is impossible to be famous and tour the world and not scar those you leave behind in some ways. The problem with abandonment issues – if you don’t deal with them, they can destroy your relationships and obstruct intimacy. The key is recognizing it and luckily Mia seems to. However you could see the pain, sorrow and love between them. Although she longed for her father as a child, Mia still worried she could lose him. It takes time to be reassured in relationships. Time and forgiveness.

Next up was Erin, Steven’s longtime girlfriend and former band accountant. Tired of hurting people, Steven claimed to be taming his sexual aura. Traveling with the band for years, she knew exactly what he encountered each day. Despite the wanting, he was determined to remain faithful. When Oprah asked what the sweetest thing he ever did for her, Erin was quick to answer. “He went all the way to Alaska to visit my grandmother who I loved more than anything who passed away a few years ago” and he was on tour and took four days to visit her. Something she will never forget. I love that! A true sign of recognizing what is important in life. I posted a clip earlier showing part of the interview. Take a look!

Before the day ended, Steven took Oprah for a tour down memory lane in his vintage Ford Phaeton. The place where he met Joe Perry, the lawn that he mowed when Joe asked him to come hear him play and eventually the place where he found his spirituality. On the drive, Steven couldn’t help but say what so many of us have felt – he told Oprah that she was a “magical child” and asked her to be his friend. He wanted someone who was “HD” in understanding. It was so sweet as he tried to talk her into a friendship as if the cameras weren’t even rolling. If Oprah won’t answer your call Steven, you can call me. I, too, love having HD people in my life.

Pulling the car over, they both hiked into the woods to a clearing. When Oprah stopped to touch a moss covered rock, Steven ushered her on. As they walked the path, I imagined Steven as a child just exploring and taking it all in. The beauty, the stillness, the magic. “Steven Tyler is taking me to his magical space” Oprah like a child going on a play date. I had to pause. As she began to sit on the patch of grass I had a strong sense that Oprah was not the first girl Steven had brought there. Suddenly I found myself shouting again “No O! Don’t sit dowwwnnn!” Yeah it didn’t work. As they sat on the earth, they sniffed the plants and Steven shared his belief that he had found God in music. To which Oprah shared, “You know what. I think God’s not just in the music, I think God is the music”. That was so HD of them!

As the interview wrapped I was left smiling. I never would have imagined that Aerosmith’s frontman would have such a spiritual and aware side to his personality. I was pleasantly surprised. The Oprah Winfrey Network asked what 3 words would describe how we saw Steven before the show and I chose: music, drugs and crazy. By the end of the show, my words had changed to humble, aware & present – a huge shift in my perception. I wasn’t completely shocked at Steven’s turnaround. It isn’t uncommon for people to start reflecting back and regretting decisions as they get older. However, forgiving yourself is the first and hardest step. With wedding bells on the horizon for Steven and Erin, let’s hope that his hardest days are behind him…leaving plenty of room for love, music and forgiveness.