When a major disaster like an earthquake hits, the foundation of homes shift, people can be crushed and those who are left standing feel an intense gratitude for surviving. Sometimes there are events that shake us to our core and change our lives forever. No one is ever really prepared and when it hits, we struggle to find meaning and new foothold in our life. Disasters aren’t the only times we find ourselves looking to press the reset button. For some, there are days that they wake up feeling not so great…setting off a whirlwind within their lives. This is what happened to the star of Crazy Sexy Cancer, Kristen (Kris) Carr.
“I’ve always felt I was super human or invincible.” – Kris Carr
Crazy Sexy Cancer shadowed Kris’ journey from the beginning of her diagnosis to living life fully. A riveting story of determination, exploration, courage and love. Kris’ life changed the day she walked into the emergency room. Thinking she had injured herself during yoga and with a few body whispers, her world was turned inside out when the tests revealed stage 4 of a rare incurable slow moving cancer. The doctors offered little hope and grim statistics. No treatment was known to work. With 24 tumors, her lungs and liver were totally infected. “I’m not sick” she chanted despite knowing that she was. In spite of being told there was nothing she could do, she wasn’t willing to give up. However in the process, her story changed from looking for a cure to finding her life.
When all things are dark, sometimes it is easier to see the light.
She searched for the best doctor, the perfect treatment plan and hope wherever she could find it. Not wanting to sit and wait, she was determined to become a “healing junkie”. Cancer can leave you feeling so powerless. Death begins to consume your thoughts…slowly suffocating the life within you. If you aren’t careful the focus becomes the end and when it will get there. Kris was doing everything she could to not go there. With interesting stops along the way, her path led her to an amazing support group.
She began her search with an alternative health expo with everything from laughing clowns to acupuncture. Determined to fight, she tried a little bit of everything and found laughter along the way. Her next stop was a “F*ck Cancer” concert where she met Jackie who was fighting her own cancer battle and understood the fear and worry. The next stop highlighted in the film was a bookstore where she left with an enormous pile of books. “It’s like going to college for healing.” A bit overwhelmed after throwing herself deep into macrobiotics and learning to cook, she was due for a much needed break. At a book reading, she met Erin, a writer who was living with cancer. Erin was a writer and an editor for Glamour magazine and soon after, Kris was introduced to Melissa, Erin’s sister, who was also fighting cancer. She was on her way to the hospital for a stem cell transplant. I can’t imagine both sisters being so sick. Slowly Kris was finding a new support group.
Despite the incredible support group that she was slowly growing, Kris was struggling with hope. Thinking about marriage, children and life…she wanted to believe that anything was possible. BUT at times the light of hope was dim. Reflecting back, she wondered when it all changed. When did the cancer come? Did I do anything to bring it on? Crawling into the old swing from her childhood, she thought….was it the water in the stream that I drank near my house, or perhaps she stepped on too many cracks. Although it is perfectly normal to feel that way, she will most likely never find the answers. As she visited her grandfather’s grave, she felt horrible that no one had been to his graveside in so long…he was alone. It was clear that this affected Kris on a deep level. To many, death is a cold and lonely place. However she focused on spirituality and balance and encountered something she never expected.
About 6 months into the film, she had Brian, a friend-of-a-friend, help her with editing and filming her journey. Then, LOVE happened. She was laughing, playing and living. Then she heard from Jackie- she was sick again. BUT it turned out the long list of medications that made her sick was actually making her well. She got the great news…she was in the big R – remission. It wasn’t the “pot of gold”, but to Kris it was a dream. Kris then realized in order to move forward, she needed to change. 
After researching, she went to speak with Dr. Young, author of Sick and Tired, about food and disease. It sounded a little complex but I think I caught the basics – the natural balance (your PH) is the only true disease. If you eat right, you can find this balance once again and hopefully begin to heal. After looking at her blood, her body moved slowly. She was short on important enzymes. Finally feeling like she can do something to make a change, she began a new diet. After a 21 day fast, she was brought to tears. I don’t blame her…the thought of never having a cookie or muffin is a difficult one to swallow.
Kris then headed out to see Melissa in the hospital. Feeling grateful that she didn’t have to go through the same treatment, Kris comforted her and within a few weeks Melissa was done with cancer! Still feeding her soul, Kris enrolled in 9 weeks at Hippocrates Health Institute in West Palm Beach, Florida. As I watched the instructor showing how to put a tube up your rear, I couldn’t help but think – when you are fighting for your life, nothing is out of the question. Following her fast and the change in diet, she went back to re-look at the balance in her blood. Surprisingly, there was a visual difference and finally something seemed to be making a change for her.
With her two year anniversary upon her, Kris paused to question whether she should be making plans for the future. Should she dare to wed or have children? When death looms over us, feeling optimistic can almost feel like cheating. Just when she needed it, a great keeper of hope entered Kris’ life – Oni, a playwright who had been living with breast cancer for ten years. Making the decision to LIVE, Kris and Brian picked out wedding rings AND were making plans. Nervously they headed in for more tests to see how the tumors were doing. “You only put on mascara if you are really confident” and she was. Not only did her scans come back with no change, her doctor gave her great news – she didn’t have to come back for a year. “A whole new world,” Brian commented. I can only imagine. After monthly tests, someone finally told her that she was free to be hopeful….for at least a year. So…with a room full of friends, loved ones and hope, Kris and Brian tied the knot. A life full of hope. “Life is messy and brilliant, gorgeous and stunning, crazy and sexy…just like cancer!”
Once the documentary ended, Dr. Oz paid Kris a visit. “Life is just too sweet to be bitter” she told him, “Once I changed my focus, desperation changed to inspiration.” OWN then updated us all on Kris. Five years later she was going strong and loving life. . She has now turned her focus to prevention and passing on all that she has learned. Fear is okay; it is what gets us to the doctor. The most important lesson is to…LIVE in the face of death. All any of us have is the now, so soak in every moment.