The Judds poured it all out on the floor yet still had an ocean of hurt inside. This week’s show opened as Naomi talked about a conversation she had with Ashley. Feeling defensive, Naomi couldn’t stop trying to explain herself when all Ashley seemed to want was her mother to listen to her OWN truth. However, Naomi was so caught up in her own shame that she was unable to be there for her daughter.

Throughout this series, these women have no problem finding their voices….the problem has always been that they have trouble being heard! With Ashley’s book and the tour with Wynonna crashing all around her, reality hit Naomi…she wasn’t proud of the parent she had been to her children and that the whole world may judge her for it. Wynonna found herself once again trying to comfort her mother as Naomi shared that she knew Ashley was only speaking the truth. Unfortunately, it appeared to be too much truth for Naomi to take.

Although we aren’t sure how deep the pain goes, it’s clear Wynonna still had a barrier up and didn’t feel safe talking about it with her mother. She did share that her and her sister, Ashley, were left alone up to 12 hours a day without food. It wasn’t safe and it wasn’t good. “I don’t know Ashley’s full story, but I do know there has to be a cost for her because I know what I experienced”. Wynonna has her own issues with her mother and sister…being that it was Ashley who blurted out the devastating family secret that Wynonna’s father wasn’t her biological father when Wy was 30. Wynonna had lived her life with everyone knowing the secret but her. As the youngest of 3 sisters, I could only imagine that Wynonna’s world had been turned upside down. The people she trusted most suddenly felt like strangers…feeling as if they had a whole secret life without her.

The story was as complicated as the Judds’ relationship. How did it all start? To make a long story short…Naomi got pregnant when she was a teen and told Wy’s biological father who then took off. Feeling alone and most likely afraid, Naomi choose to marry a boy who had a crush on her. After many miserable years in a bad marriage, Naomi found herself living in LA with Wy and Ashley and feeling as if she was suffocating. She knew she had to get a divorce. Once she did, Wynonna and Ashley’s lives changed drastically making it hard for Wynonna to get past the anger she felt.

While the Judds took their walk down memory lane, they couldn’t help but think back to the worst time of their lives. As Naomi settled into LA food, Wynonna was able to connect with some old friends who cooked her a good old home cooked meal. Feeling safe and heard, Wy shared that she and her mother had gotten into physical “fist fights” when she was younger. Ashley witnessed it all creating an unhealthy place for the whole family. So, what did Dr. Ted think? Wanting the Judds to revisit their past, Dr. Ted hoped the women would find peace. As they drove around LA, Naomi recalled her memories of feeling as if she had nothing and no one when she arrived in the 70’s. Wynonna tried her best to set some boundaries for herself knowing that this would be hard. The Judds spent the day trying to be careful with their words, yet still found themselves remembering things differently, bickering and feeling defensive. Naomi seemed trapped in the memories of feeling alone without a friend, which was ironic being that Wynonna noted this was the time of her life when her loneliness began.

It couldn’t have been easy being a single mother of 2 and trying to survive, but it also wasn’t easy for Wynonna who was often left playing parent to Ashley who she admitted she wasn’t always nice to. Being young and angry, Wynonna did her best as her mom worked 2-3 jobs. “I just remember lots of strange people in and out. Very unsafe” Wy shared as they talked about the crazy, stalker guy who lived across the street from them. As they pulled up to a motel that had been near their house, Naomi shared a very personal regret. She had let this scary boyfriend into her life and he ended up raping and beating her. The relationship had been a bad one that the children had to witness.

As the car ran, they sat in front of the motel where Naomi had run with her children after a night of being attacked. The memories came back like daggers for both of them…you could see it in their faces. Naomi opened up and Wynonna was quiet. Then when Wy finally started to share “her reality” of the time, Naomi became disconnected. Once again, Wynonna wasn’t able to be heard. “It’s all about you mom” Wynonna angrily said as she left the car tearing her microphone off. “No wonder Ashley’s written a book. So she can feel heard, I guess.” As the car drove away without Wy, Naomi coldly went back to eating her chicken wrap. As they get back to the bus, Wynonna asked her mom and Ted to come to the bus so they could talk. A totally uncomfortable moment. “Why did we go there?” Wy had to ask. Both of them share that it was just TOO much all at once. Neither one of them was able to be there for each other….they both sank into their own pain. Naomi’s thoughts were about her own pain, where Wynonna simply wanted someone to recognize what she had endured…to be heard.

Each week the Judds fight to find a healthier relationship and it is clear they love each other….but I am not sure they communicate in a way that is safe for each other. Naomi seems to make so much of this about her. I am not sure if she is in survival mode and can’t focus on anything else, or if it has to do with feeling the need to pretend it isn’t happening. I could understand if she had disconnected due to all of the pain she had endured over the years. It happens. But, by wearing this mask and closing herself off, she allows no place for others to be honest in her life or for true healing to begin. Instead, Wy appeared to be ready to burst and say EVERYTHING, but struggled to hold it all in so it didn’t damage their already delicate relationship. Both women struggled to own something for themselves.

I must stop for a moment and say “Bravo!” to both Naomi and Wynonna. Both of them are producers on the show and could have tried to bury some of this, but instead they allowed themselves to be TOTALLY exposed! Relationships are complicated and it takes a lot to be honest and OWN it. As Oprah shared on her Master Class…“Ultimately we all want the same thing – We want to know that we matter. We want to know that we were heard and that what we had to say meant something. Did you hear me and did what I say mean anything to you?” We all could use this reminder!