“As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life” – Buddha

There are times I look back at the end of my day and realize I missed it. Unable to recall more than a few trivial conversations, I notice that I simply coast through the majority of my days. Decisions are made; tasks are accomplished; laughter occurs but nothing stands out. I wonder when I lost my own attention? More importantly…how do I get it back?

Unaware of any self-help book that would give me a quick fix, I realized that this would need a bit more introspection. I needed to understand why I wasn’t present in my own life. So…I convinced myself to try to be more present. The following day I woke up determined to not miss my life. I saw more. I heard more. I realized more. I felt more. Surprisingly I even smiled more. I was attentive and present. I was alive. It was a refreshing feeling. Something I haven’t felt for awhile.

My mind has been so crammed with trying to squeeze as much as I can into my time…as if I am freeing myself of future burdens. But it doesn’t work that way. I only fill the “freed up time” with more stuff. I think this misconstrued concept came from my mom. No, she didn’t instill this in me, but she did teach me to never waste a step. If you are leaving the the living room and something needs to go to the kitchen, grab it on your way out. I can’t tell you how many times I have put away towels simply because I needed to go to the bathroom. However, this great trick also has me carrying tasks from space to space. I am constantly in motion and always making a list.

I have spent so much time feeling bogged down by what I thought was living. My responsibilities and my to-do list had become my life. I have to separate them. I need my to-do list to be the stuff I fit in while I am living. So, that is what I am going to try to do….although I am seriously fighting the urge to put it on my list!  Baby steps.