Throughout my life, I’ve always tucked things away places and usually, I forget about them.  Maybe it’s a bad habit that I got into many years ago or my subconscious simply placing notes and gifts to myself along the path of my life, knowing that someday, somewhere along the way, I’ll see them again.  And my favorite hiding place for all of these gifts just happen to be books.  I’m a huge book lover and early on, I adopted my own bookmark strategy.  With each book, I try to pick up something meaningful to use to hold my place. I learned long ago that while “earmarking” the page with that little bend in the corner, using a sticky note or a boring bookmark to hold my spot may work for some people, I prefer to do it differently.  I love books so much that I want to put love into them as well.  So for years, memories of photos, ticket stubs, postcards and so much more have been tucked away amidst the pages of some of my favorites.  Some, holding pages.  Most, holding memories.  Sprinkled mementos of something that touched my heart and that I don’t want to lose.  So, into the pages they go…and when the book goes back to the shelf or gets stacked in the corner somewhere, usually so do the gifts.

Tonight, I picked up a book that I used to keep by my bedside and purchased during college.  “A Guide for the Advanced Soul – A Book of Insight” by Susan Hayward.  The cover told me to “Hold a problem in your mind. Open this book to any page and there will be your answer.”  Like a little Magic 8 Ball made of paper, for years I found wisdom and comfort in having it close.  So, tonight when I picked it up for the first time in a long time, unexpectedly a postcard dropped out.  It was dated 2004 and from my cousin who died from breast cancer in 2005.  We were like sisters and I’ve been thinking of her a lot. Suddenly, it felt like she was here all over again…telling me how proud she was of me and how she wished we could spend more time together.  I felt for a moment that I could pick up the phone and call her. I started to cry.  Everything happens for a reason.  At that same moment when the tears just started to collect in the corner of my eyes, a sticky note fell out of the book. In a child’s 7 year old writing it said, “dear paula, please let me put my stinky feet in your bed. p.s. i love you.”  Another gift.  A note from my now teenage nephew, reminding me of how wonderful it has been to watch him be born and grow up and be a part of his life…and that even though he’s growing up, he is still that same little boy with a silly sense of humor who loved to leave sticky and was always looking for a sleepover party with his cool aunt and a long night of reading Harry Potter books. Looking a little more, I found a couple of old photos and a poem that the same cousin gave to me over 20 years ago….handwritten with care in bright pink pen. Secret messages tucked away just waiting for me to discover them again…all filled with magic to take me back to a memory of love.

After I took them out, I carefully put them back into the pages.  The memories and love I felt when they just happened to drop out of the book was amazing.  Tomorrow, I’ll call my aunt and share the story with her…that her only daughter who left too soon paid me a little visit.  It should make her smile and laugh.  And I’ll take the sticky note out and remind my little nephew who now stands above almost everyone in the family that his sticky note from almost 7 years ago is still so special to me.  Someday, I will pick up the same book….long after I’ve forgotten what is in there and again and probably when I need to see it most…and I’ll feel the joy and magic that only hidden memories and messages of love can bring and it’s a habit that I highly recommend.